we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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