you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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