so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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