So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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