dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Randomize
