he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
