Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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