FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
