You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
