id be glad to
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
