You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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