I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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