We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
What a dumb baby whore.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
