Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
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I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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