My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
