remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
