I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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