You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize