thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
