Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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