hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
