She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize