This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
