like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
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Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
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You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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