So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
