she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
