He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
