my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
