I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
