yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
