i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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