I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
