I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
