very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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