Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
