what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
