if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
