WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize