You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
