pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
