No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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