there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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