she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
