You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
