Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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