I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
