Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
