cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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