Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
wanna go halves on a baby?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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