He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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