Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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