drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
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ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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