just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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